I worked for the Dallas Observer while I was in hi school, which is funny, because their current editor just happens to also be named Patrick Williams (just like the composer, the caribbean chef, nigerian spammer and the lonely inmate). So, I’m always wondering if folks I knew in Dallas are always thinking it’s me when they see his byline.
Anyway, it seems like they’ve recently expanded their online archive to include stuff from 1994, featuring a piece I wrote about local Dallas band the Voyeurs. I remember being a little embarrassed that the story got the headline "Vibrator Dependent," especially when my mom sent clippings to my grandparents, extended family, and neighbors. But I’m guessing that that’s nowhere near the embarrassment the real Patrick Williams, Editor-in-Chief, feels when my story is attributed to him (it’s the earliest piece attributed to someone with our name on the site).
I loved working at the paper, but it was the place where my dreams of being a journalist when I grew up died. I couldn’t handle all the phone calls. Unfortunately, in the past 10 years, I’ve published nothing else about vibrators.
Here’s a scan of some other stuff I wrote for the Observer, in what is probably a total violation of copyright law. If you want to know how "The Best of [Your City]" gets chosen, let me know.
I don’t know how to deal with this [http://www.inmate.com/inmates/laurajones.htm, so I figured I would turn it over to you. What’s a little first degree murder between pen-pals, anyway?
P.S. I only stumbled across this while looking up “Patrick Williams the inmate”. I swear.
Dammit. Here’s the working version:
http://www.inmate.com/inmates/laurajones.htm
Whoa. The fact that she doesn’t disclose what kinds of projects are close to her heart (and, beyond that, why these projects might demand that she crochet hats) is chilling. Leaving out a detail like that is probably a pretty effective way of generating some penpals; I’m about ready to write her. But, you know, I’m really busy.
Me, too, I guess. Too busy, I mean. Way too busy.
But I’m stil wondering what those “close to her heart” projects are — murder, perhaps? Or just knitting adorable little things for her cousin Shawna’s young’uns?